My Health is Mental

Is it perceptual to think there is health beyond what you see 
Broken bones cast, cuts stitched and bruises fade I think we all agree 
A limp, stick or plaster conjure feelings of sympathy and a desire to assist 
Depression, anxiety, PTSD these you want to resist

You don’t know struggle, there was no mental health in my day 
I don’t want to feel this way, maybe it is my DNA 
What have you got to be depressed about, there are real problems out there 
Never a more sure-fire way of telling me you don’t care

I can’t remedy or reason my minds dereliction 
But I can recall this with conviction 
This relentless terrorist in my mind 
Picks apart my happiness and darkens any sunshine, that I can find

I know life is beautiful in every way 
But this dark cloud I carry, cast shadows and I decay 
It tortures and torments my very existence 
And the contempt I see, feel and hear provides painful assistance 

Constant judgments and mutterings aplenty 
Every room I enter seems to be empty 
What I seek is not attention and I am not the queen of drama 
All I am searching for is calm and distance from aching trauma

Masking my feelings, may put you at ease 
It is somehow more appealing, than admitting to this disease 
An admission of illness, prompts only judgement and shame 
You contrive, deprive and distance from me, somehow, I am to blame?!

Suffering silently may prevent, stigma and jeers 
Although there is no doubt that it shortens my years 
The fear you hear when my mental health is discussed 
Only feeds the disease, and sentences me to life of distrust

Without help, I know there is no hope 
And it is good to talk, it’s what I need to cope 
Maybe my mental health does make me threat 
Only to myself though, let’s not forget

Written by Craig Houston

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